November 1, 2017

Today was my due date.

I feel oddly calm and emotionally strong. It makes me feel happy but sad at the same time. I feel like I should be devastated and an emotional wreck. It's been 28 weeks since I lost my baby. I have had my share of highs and lows. Now, I have accepted that I did nothing wrong. There's nothing I could have done to change this terrible outcome. I have taken better care of my health.

I took the day off work. I had a nice relaxing day. It was a much needed day to myself. I'm glad I didn't have to worry about working. Plus we got a bad snow storm so I'm happy I didn't have to leave my house.

I lit my White Peach candle. Its the same one I had on October 15. It's a sweet familiar smell. I have my beautiful raspberry tattoo on my left arm. I carry my baby with me where ever I go. In my heart and my heart is on my sleeve.

I am 1 in 4.

I am strong.

I am brave.

I have survived the imaginable.

I will never forget you.

I miss you.

Always.

Love Mom.

Daughty - Gone Too Soon

 

Today could have been the day,
That you blow out your candles,
Make a wish as you close your eyes.

Today could have been the day,
Everybody was laughing,
Instead I just sit here and cry,

Who would you be?
What would you look like,
When you looked at me for the very first time?
Today could have been the next day of the rest of your life.

Not a day goes by,
That I don't think of you,
I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose,
Such a ray of light we never knew,
Gone too soon, yeah.

Would you have been president
Or a painter, an author, or sing like your mother?
One thing is evident,
Would've given all I had,
Would've loved you like no other.

Who would you be,
What would you look like,
Would you have my smile and her eyes?
Today could have been the next day of the rest of your life.

Not a day goes by,
That I don't think of you,
I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose,
Such a ray of light we never knew,
Gone too soon, yeah.

Not a day goes by,
Oh
I'm always asking why.

 

Not a day goes by,
That I don't think of you,
I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose,
Such a beautiful light we never knew,
Gone too soon,
You were gone too soon
Yeah.

 

Not a day goes by,
That I don't think of you. 

 

Writer(s): Christopher A. Daughtry, Michael James Ryan Busbee