November 1, 2017

Today was my due date.

I feel oddly calm and emotionally strong. It makes me feel happy but sad at the same time. I feel like I should be devastated and an emotional wreck. It's been 28 weeks since I lost my baby. I have had my share of highs and lows. Now, I have accepted that I did nothing wrong. There's nothing I could have done to change this terrible outcome. I have taken better care of my health.

I took the day off work. I had a nice relaxing day. It was a much needed day to myself. I'm glad I didn't have to worry about working. Plus we got a bad snow storm so I'm happy I didn't have to leave my house.

I lit my White Peach candle. Its the same one I had on October 15. It's a sweet familiar smell. I have my beautiful raspberry tattoo on my left arm. I carry my baby with me where ever I go. In my heart and my heart is on my sleeve.

I am 1 in 4.

I am strong.

I am brave.

I have survived the imaginable.

I will never forget you.

I miss you.

Always.

Love Mom.